Stage 4

 Stage 4

By Eli Susman

Blood pounded in his ears.

Every second, loud beeps went off.. He was surrounded by a sea of white. Beep after beep after beep. “Don’t move,” They said.

Gabriel Jacks tried his best. But being more than just a few pounds overweight, his body was compressed harder than he’d ever felt. His face was smashed. He thought about how long he’d been lying there with his body enveloped by white padding.

“I’ve been here at least 30 minutes. It’s gotta be over soon. Right?”

He was overwhelmed. He’d never done anything like it before. Then, the noises stopped. All he could hear was a minor humming sound.

“The sound of the machine being on?” He figured. A second later, the “bed” he was lying on slowly retracted from the machine and he saw the normal world again. As he was still being taken out of the white tube a man spoke.

“See, Mr. Jacks, that wasn’t too bad.” The MRI technician said.

The machine stopped moving, and the technician began unstrapping him from the bed.

“Well it was my first time. I didn’t know what to expect.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. MRI’s can be intimidating.”

Gabriel stood up slowly. His body ached. The technician looked at him with robotic eyes. People working at hospital’s don’t have any feelings, they just do their job and move on. They don’t worry about making the patient feel safe.

He motioned for Gabriel to walk out the door.

Gabriel just nodded his head and slugged out of the room. He was on the fourth floor of the West-Wing of Tidelands Georgetown Memorial Hospital.

As he entered the elevator across the hall he got a glimpse of an angel.

A girl with beautiful blue eyes walked by him. He admired her until the elevator door closed.

“Wow.” Was all he could think.

The doors opened again on the first floor. He walked up to the reception desk. The lady sitting there had a big smile. It annoyed Gabriel.

“Good morning, sir. How may I help you?” She asked cheerfully.

“Can I schedule another appointment to review the results of my MRI?”

“Of course! Name?”

“Gabriel Jacks.”

She looked at her computer and scrolled through some pages.

Gabriel thought about what he’d just done. The thought of the MRI still scared him.

“We can have you on July 24th. In 4 days.” The receptionist said.

“I’ll take it.” Gabriel spoke blankly then turned and walked out of the hospital. He wanted to go home.

He stepped outside and the heat instantly hit him. He started sweating immediately. He didn’t have a car, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to walkespecially in the heat. He got his phone out, the latest and greatest Iphone X. He opened the Uber app, and called an Uber. Then he sat down on a bench outside the hospital and waited for the Uber to arrive.

He sat there for a moment, before opening the Postmates app on his phone. He ordered Domino's pizza, hoping it would arrive at his house the same time he arrived.

Large cheese pizza with sausage, olives, and onions. 2-litre bottle of coke. Bread sticks. Chocolate lava cakes. His usual.

His shirt was sticking to his chubby body. There was no room for air to pass through. He was very hot. All he wanted was his Uber to arrive. And finally, after a fifteen minute wait, it did.

A grey Honda Civic pulled up with the white Uber sticker stuck to the front windshield. Gabriel stood up, leaving a sweat print of his butt where he sat. He wiped sweat from his brow with his shirt, but didn’t accomplish much because his shirt was already sweaty. He opened the door of the car and sat down in the back seat. The man driving the car turned around to face him. He was a short and old Asian man, with a balding head and glasses. He spoke quickly and firmly,

“Gabriel Jacks?”

Gabriel coughed to clear his throat, “Um, yes. That’s me.”

The man gave a small grin, “Ok. Ok, good. Let’s go.” He slowly turned back to the wheel, and at the speed of a sloth the car began to creep along the road. They pulled out of the driveway and the man spoke again to Gabriel.

Are you sick?”

Gabriel tried to wipe sweat from his brow again. He was still out of breath from the sweltering heat.

“Sick? No. Can you turn on the air?”

“You were at hospital. You are not sick?”

Gabriel tried to crack a smile, but couldn’t. He was really hot.

“Sir, can you please turn on the air?”

“Why at hospital if you are not sick?”

Gabriel took a deep breath trying to get some air. He used his shirt to wipe away sweat surrounding his mouth.

“I’m so sorry you are confused...” Gabriel looked down at his phone to see the man’s Uber profile, “...Mr. Ling. But please just put on the A/C!”

Mr. Ling slammed on the breaks. Gabriel lurched forward with the sudden stop and his face rammed into the headrest in front of him. He instantly made a grunt and grabbed his nose. It was all sweaty, and he felt gross touching his face.

“What the fuck!” Gabriel yelled. They were in the middle of the road. Every car honked and started to go around them.

Mr. Ling swung around to face Gabriel.

“Nobody talks to Mr. Ling like that in his car.”

Gabriel had a look of shock.

“I just need some air!” Gabriel felt like he was going to pass out.The air in the car was like a steam room.

“Out of my car!”

“What?” Gabriel yelled, “I need to get home!”

“Walk!”

“I can’t walk I-”

“Out!”

“Sir with all due respect it’s-”

“Ooouuut!”

Gabriel stopped talking. He was out of breath, but every breath he took felt like 30-percent air and 70-percent water. The car was steamy and hot. He thought he was going to pass out anyway if he didn’t get out. Gabriel glared at the man, and with a huff, opened the car door. He got out, no sweat mark left behind because the leather seats were covered in moisture already.

He slammed the car door shut behind him. The car didn’t roar off, in fact it pulled away very slowly. But he still felt a certain level of disrespect that Mr. Ling directed towards him as he drove off. Gabriel went to grab his phone from his pocket, but felt nothing. He panicked and frantically felt his pockets. People walking by looked at him like he was crazy: a tall overweight man who looks like he’s 40, but is really 30 with sweat covering his body.

“Gosh, I probably smell terrible also.” Gabriel felt self-conscious.

His phone was not in his pocket. He must have left it in the car. He looked up. The car was still close. Just a little ahead, stopped at a red light. It was “go” time. He lifted his shirt, exposing his fat stomach, and wiped sweat from his entire face. In reality he just smeared the sweat drops. He took a deep breath of humid air, and started to run.

He tried to remember the last time he ran. He couldn’t. Practically instantly, his breath was constant. Inhale, exhale. One after the other without any rest in between. As if he wasn’t already sweaty enough, he started to sweat even more. His feet stomped on the concrete as he ran and each step shook the earth with his weight. He got to the car and despite it being hard for him, especially when he’s out of breath, he bent over to look into the car window.

“Hey!” He could barely breathe, “Mr. Ling open up! My...my phone is 5 in there!”

The window rolled down the same way Mr. Ling seemed to do everything-slowly. . They glared at each other.

“My phone is in the back seat!” Gabriel looked to the back and saw it sitting there.

“That is my phone now Mr. Jacks.” Mr. Ling looked pleased with himself.

Gabriel quickly turned his head towards the traffic light, it turned green as he was watching it. Mr. Ling followed his glance and saw the green light.

“Mr. Jacks, looks like I’ve got to go. I’ll see you around.” The window rolled up.

“You can’t just steal my phone like that. That’s theft, I can have you-” The window closed, and the car pulled away. Gabriel hunched over and put his hands on his knees to keep him from falling over. He was panting like a dog after a run. He stood up straight.

“I just...I just wanted some air.

Gabriel looked around and saw some people staring at him. He thought he must have looked disgusting. He felt sweat dripping down him at every point, and his face was beat red. He was still out of breath. But most importantly, he was without his phone.

He wasn’t sure what to do, but his body wanted to sit. The air was hot and he could barely breathe. He coughed, a lot, trying to catch his breath. He leaned up against a wall in the shade and tried to come up with a way to get home.

He was 5 miles away, and whether it was hot out or not, 5 miles was very far for Gabriel Jacks. Especially when it was already 1 o’clock and he was hungry.

He slid his wallet out from his pocket. It was empty. He cursed himself for leaving the house without any cash.

He looked across the street, and saw a McDonalds. He figured eating would help to clear his mind and create a plan. He crossed the busy street, making sure not to get run over. He went into the McDonalds, and couldn’t 6 decide whether it felt like home or heaven. But once he got a whiff of that “McDonalds” smell that any true fan would recognize, he decided it felt like heaven.

The cold air was as refreshing as a fruit smoothie on a summer day. And the smell of fast food made Gabriel’s mouth water. He took a deep breath feeling like he could actually breath. He wiped sweat from his brow, and that time, it stayed away. The sweat on his body was beginning to dry. He walked up to the cashier,

“Hi, can I get 4 big macs, a soda, and large fries.”

“That will be-”

“Oh can I also get an oreo McFlurry.” Gabriel interrupted.

The man gave him a blank stare.

“Sorry, the ice cream machine is broken.”

Gabriel’s eyes dropped. Then he rolled them and took a breath.

“Um. Then nevermind.”

“That will be $6.75.”

Gabriel pulled out his wallet again and handed the cashier his card. The man swiped it, then handed it back to Gabriel.

“Number 102. Have a nice day.”

Gabriel just nodded at the guy and went to get his drink. He chose Dr. Pepper. Then he sat down to wait for his number to be called. His legs hurt, his whole body felt sticky, and his stomach felt funny.

“I must be hungry.” He thought.

A minute later, “Order number 102!” Someone called out. He stood up, got his food, then sat back down, and opened everything up to eat. Ready to chow down, he grabbed the ketchup packets, and squeezed 10 of them onto his burgers, and fries.

Five minutes later, he was done eating and wiped the food from his face. He let out a quiet burp. He was satisfied beyond belief. However his stomach hurt-and it hurt a lot. He wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t overeating; definitely not. He’d eaten that much McDonalds plenty of times in the past. And he wasn’t hungry, because he’d just eaten. He thought maybe the food didn’t agree with 7 his stomach. But it wasn’t that kind of pain. He decided to ignore it and move on. It was time for him to get home.

He walked up to the door and stopped. He took a deep breath of the cold, processed burger filled air of McDonalds before leaving. The moment he was outside, it felt like he’d never left. His body began to sweat again, and his breathing picked up. He looked at the street signs, and without thinking went to grab his phone. He was going to call an Uber, but couldn’t. He sighed, then turned and left. He began his long journey home.

2.

Gabriel had just walked five miles. He had made it home, but despite walking slowly, his heartbeat was soaring. He wasn’t sweating, because there was nothing left in his body to sweat. He had mistakenly left McDonalds without bringing water. His entire body felt sticky and gross, and every part of him hurt. Even the parts he didn’t use to walk. When he thought about what he looked like he was disgusted with himself. Though at the same time he was very proud. He had just walked 5 miles non-stop-besides the occasional minute-long break to catch his breath, and the vending machine he tried to shake and get food for free from. He’d never exercised that much in his life and he was genuinely amazed with himself. Never would he have imagined that he could walk 5 miles. He opened the door of his apartment and instantly felt relieved. He was in pain, everywhere, but was glad to be home.

He threw his keys onto the counter to his right, and went straight to the couch in front of him. He practically fell onto the couch.

“I wonder what happened to my pizza order?”

His apartment was small, but homey. It was cheap, despite being right by the beach. The important part to him was that it was cheap. Working at a movie theatre concession stand didn’t pay much, meaning he had to split the rent with his roomate: Eddie Winger.

Just seconds after Gabriel collapsed onto his couch, Eddie came out of his room.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Eddie asked, smirking.

“Nothing.”

“Well you look like shit.” He was intentionally insulting Gabriel.

“Oh thank you, that’s exactly what I needed right about now.” Gabriel rolled his eyes and started to get up.

“It got you off your ass didn’t it?”

“Shut up.” He pushed Eddie out of the way and went to the fridge. Their kitchen was small, just a little nook to the right when walking in from the door. He opened the fridge and grabbed a big bottle of water.

Eddie saw and said, “Bro those are mine.”

“Just because you go to the gym doesn’t mean you need to have giant pre-filled water bottles for yourself.”

“Just refill it when you’re done.” Eddie responded, agitated.

Gabriel didn’t respond. He went back to the couch, grabbing an open bag of Doritos that were sitting on the counter. Once he was sitting again, he started munching.

As he sat there, feeling dead in every way imaginable, Eddie looked in the mirror, trying to fix his hair. He looked at himself, seemed satisfied, then turned to Gabriel.

“Hey, I’m heading out to meet this girl. Her name’s Jessica. She’s super...”

“I don’t care. What are you getting at?”

“I just wanted to ask before I left. How was the doctor? Any results?”

Gabriel turned to him. It always surprised him when Eddie started acting like he cared. Usually he acted like a dick to Gabriel, but there were always those few instances when he sounded like he gave two shits. He never could really decide whether he thought of Eddie as a friend or not. They knew each other pretty well, they’d lived in the same apartment together since Eddie moved in when he graduated college 3 years before.

He had just graduated from Duke University, and had originally been from South Carolina, but moved North for college. He was thankful that he got in to such a good school. After college he moved south again, and started living with Gabriel, basically, the second he arrived. They were opposites from the start, but neither of them had a lot of money-so they didn’t have much of a choice. Eddie was just glad that the house was near the gym. Besides that and the cheapness of the place, he didn’t really care.

“I’m fine.” Gabriel responded, “No results yet.”

Eddie looked at him for a second before turning and leaving without a word.

Eddie looked at him for a second before turning and leaving without a word.

Gabriel watched him leave. He took a breath. He was always on guard around Eddie. Eddie was strong, fast, and athletic. Gabriel was not. Intimidated was an understatement. He noticed his stomach was still aching, and he still wasn’t sure why.

It was still early afternoon, but Gabriel was far too tired to go out and do something. He was beyond tired and every part of him felt like it needed replacement. He decided to rest his eyes.

As if he’d never gone to sleep he woke up on the couch. It was dark outside, he noticed. He must have slept for hours. He glanced at the analog clock on the wall. It read 9:35.

“Jesus, I slept for nearly 8 hours.” Gabriel thought.

He got up feeling groggy. Finally, his body felt cooled off. But the aching in both his legs and stomach had not left. Eddie still wasn’t home. Gabriel had no desire to sleep. He decided to go out, and get some air.

A minute later, with a jacket over his shoulders, Gabriel was walking down the street. He had no destination in mind. It was cool out; not cold, but cool. A light jacket and shorts were enough for him. The air was fresh, a nice change from the gross and hot air of the day. He walked slowly because his body still ached.

A minute later, with a jacket over his shoulders, Gabriel was walking down the street. He had no destination in mind. It was cool out; not cold, but cool. A light jacket and shorts were enough for him. The air was fresh, a nice change from the gross and hot air of the day. He walked slowly because his body still ached.

“Hey, hombre.” The short man called out.

Gabriel looked at him with a surprised look. Not scared; he didn’t have a reason to be. But he was a little put off by some sketchy-looking man calling him out.

“Me?”

Then, before he could react, the man was standing in his face and had him in a corner. Gabriel had nowhere to run to.

“ You want something?”

“What? Want something, I don’t want anything.”

“Buy somethin’ man.” The man’s voice grew stern and he got closer to Gabriel.

“No seriously, I’m okay,” His voice was shaky, “Leave me alo...”

The man pulled a small knife on him and just barely pressed it against his fat stomach.

“Then give me your money, hombre!”

“Wooooooh, okay okay I’ll buy...uh, I’ll give you my money.” Gabriel started pulling his wallet out without even thinking. His body just did it. Just as Gabriel was handing over his wallet, sirens blared off. Red and blue lights flashed around them, and a man’s voice screeched through a speaker.

“Turn around and put your hands on the wall!”

“Officer this man, I...” Gabriel tried to explain, but all that came out was a shaky nearly crying voice.

“Hands on the wall!” They did as he said. The police officers began feeling them down. On Gabriel, all they found were his car keys, and wallet in his hand. The tall bald officer began questioning Gabriel.

“Are you Gabriel Jacks?”

Gabriel swallowed trying to keep his composure, “Yes Gabriel Jacks, that’s-”

“How old are you?”

“I’m, I’m 30.”

“Stay where you are.”

They started to pat down the man beside him. They pulled out his wallet.

“Are you Julio Gonzalez.” 

“Yes.” 

“How old are you Julio.” 

“32, and I haven’t done anything wrong officer. I was just havin’ a nice conversation with this man here.

“I see.” The officer sounded skeptical. They continued patting him down. Quickly they found the bag of drugs in his left pocket.

“What is this? This cocaine?” 

“No, amigo, that’s sugar.” 

The officer opened the bag and touched the white power in the bag. 

“Doesn’t seem like sugar to me, sir, I’m going to need you to put your hands behind your back.”

Gabriel was watching the entire exchange out of the corner of his eye. The other officer spoke to him.

“You have anything to do with this?

“No, no; no! Not at all officer.”

Gabriel was practically shitting himself.

“Put your hands behind your back.”

“What? I didn’t do anything wrong.” Gabriel yelled.

The officer pulled his arms from the wall and started cuffing them. At the same time, the other officer was doing to same to Julio. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Julio swung his elbow back, nailing the officer in the face. The officer cuffing Gabriel stopped, eyes wide. He lunged at Julio, who lunged at him. They collided in the middle, and began hitting each other. Gabriel turned, one wrist handcuffed the other not. He stood frozen watching the entire exchange.

Somehow, Julio got the officer off him. He turn and ran the direction he’d come from.

The officer, ignoring Gabriel,  sprinted after Julio. The other officer, who’d been knocked to the ground, jumped up quickly. He looked at Gabriel for a second.

As if deciding whether or not to continue his arrest or to go after the other man instead. He decided to go after the man. A fat white guy with the smell of McDonalds on his breath, and  an ID picture of him with a big smile didn’t scream criminal. The officer turned and ran.

He left Gabriel standing there petrified with one hand handcuffed and a mind full of distress. Gabriel couldn’t believe what he’d just seen.

He looked down at his wrist, the cuffed one. He tried to get it off. L uckily, the officer had not locked it on his wrist yet. The cuffs dropped onto the floor. Gabriel stood still. To his left, the police car laid dormant, with lights flashing and a constant squawk of radios. .

He wasn’t quite sure what to do.

Was it a crime to leave? Was that a form of resisting arrest? He wasn’t sure. And he was scared to leave and get in trouble for it. Or worse, get arrested. All he could think to do was sit.

So he did.

His mind raced, he wasn’t even sure about what he’d just witnessed. He thought it may actually be kind of funny. But he quickly changed his mind when he heard quick footsteps and yelling to his right. His head shot to the noises and what he saw made his heart drop. It was Julio, running straight in his direction. Both police officers still chasing him.

“Why don’t these officers call in backup already?”

They were getting closer, and Gabriel stayed where he was. He thought that maybe if he stayed still they would ignore him and run by. A sort of, “playing dead” tactic. His mind didn’t want to think that his night could get worse.

As Julio ran up to where he was, the officers just a few paces behind, he grabbed Gabriel’s back. He pulled a small knife from his pocket and held it to Gabriel’s neck. He didn’t move the knife, but he held it firmly on his neck. Just a quick move of the wrist away from slicing Gabriel’s throat. One move away from killing him.

“Don’t move!” Julio yelled, “Or this gringo’s neck gets cut!”

The officers stopped in their tracks, just a couple of feet from Julio and Gabriel. Gabriel was cursing in his head,

“Why the fuck did I stay here? Fuck. This was stupid. Shit. Fuck. I’m gonna die!”

“Be calm, Mr. Gonzalez; we don’t want anybody getting hurt.” The bald officer spoke surprisingly calm, considering the position they were in. He was a police officer for a reason. Through the flashing lights in Gabriel’s eyes he was able to get a look at name tags on the police officer’s uniforms.

Officer Brooden, the bald one; and Officer Davis.

Gabriel felt like he was in a dream. Red and blue lights flashing in every direction. A random drug dealer holding a knife to his throat. Two police officers with guns on their hips standing in front of him-all in the middle of the night. All he was trying to do was take a walk to clear his mind.

Officer Brooden took a small step forward,

“Not one more step!” Julio screamed, he pressed the knife a little harder. Still not hard enough to cut the skin.

Gabriel hoped he would keep screaming, maybe attract more police in the area. Or have a neighbor call the cops for disrupting the peace. Gabriel wasn’t sure what would happen, but he wanted Julio to drop the knife and run. He could feel his neck pulsing.

“Mr. Gonzalez, let’s not be irrational here. Let go of Mr. Jacks and maybe we can figure something out.”

“I’m not doing anything until you guys leave.”

“We can’t do that.”

Gabriel looked at Officer Davis. He wasn’t nearly as calm as Officer Brooden. Brooden looked like a veteran; Davis not so much. He was a young guy, just one look and it was obvious he was a rookie. Gabriel could see the worry in his eyes; worry that scared Gabriel that he was about to do something irrational.

As if he was about to make a big mistake.

Before anything else could happen, Davis pulled his gun. Gabriels heart dropped at the sight of it. Nobody had time to react, basically all in the same instant a bullet was fired. It rang in all their ears. Gabriel saw a bright flash from the gun, and the next thing he knew he was feeling a burning on his right shoulder. Julio jumped and dropped the knife. Gabriel fell to the floor. The knife landed next to him

“I was aiming for the other guy!” Officer Davis screamed. Julio turned and ran. Leaving his knife behind.

Both officer’s started to run, but stopped almost immediately.

They weren’t going to catch up with Julio. He’d gotten too much of a head start. And besides, they had just shot another man.

They couldn’t leave him bleeding on the floor. Brooden got down on one knee and started talking to Gabriel, who was clearly in a lot of pain.

“Stay calm, stay calm. Davis! Get the first aid, and call the ambulance! This looks pretty bad.”

Gabriel was in more pain than he’d ever felt. And it was clear. He was wincing without the wound being touched. Davis kneeled down next to Brooden and gave him the first aid. He stood up and started to call the ambulance.

“You’ll be okay Mr. Jacks. Just breath. Just breath.”

He did just that. He just took deep breaths. There was blood everywhere, and it wasn’t slowing down. The bright lights began to give him a headache. He heard Officer Davis frantically talking on the phone. Then his body gave in, and everything faded to black.

His eyes opened again and he was being carted into an ambulance. “Stay with us Gabriel, keep your eyes open. Keep em’ open.” Some random EMT was yelling at him. His mind was spinning and his shoulder no longer hurt. He remembered being placed into the ambulance, and having IV’s stuck into his arm. Then everything went dark.

4.

White again. It was everywhere. Hospitals seemed to keep finding their way into Gabriel’s life. His eyes opened, and when he saw where he was, he let out a big sigh and closed them again. He hadn’t thought his day could get worse-but it did. He sat for a second, then remembered the reason he was in the hospital bed in the first place.

“I got shot by a fuckin cop!” Gabriel yelled in his head, “What the fuck!”

He was still having a hard time trying to process what had happened to him. He looked at his shoulder and saw it was all bandaged up. He figured the fact that it was still there was a good sign. He tried to move it, and he could, though it hurt like hell. Another good sign. Before he could test anything else a nurse came into the room.

“Hello Gabriel. How are you fee-” She stopped when she saw the way he was staring at her. It was as if he’d just seen Jesus.

It was the same girl he’d seen at the hospital when he was there for his MRI.

She was still beautiful, and Gabriel was making it clear he thought that by the way he was looking at her-the same way he looked at chicken wings. Her light blue eyes were mesmerizing, and her perfectly straight light brown hair blended with her cream colored skin. He thin frame probably meant that she weighed about half as much as Gabriel, but his mind wasn’t thinking about the differences in their bodies. He was thinking about the way her nurse’s outfit somehow wrapped around the curves of her body like silk, and the way she stood with a powerful nature.

As if she realized that Gabriel was admiring her.

She grew a small smirk, almost a sexy smirk, Gabriel thought. She spoke up, ending the seconds long pause,

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Her voice sounded smooth, like milk chocolate. Smooth, yet raspy at the same time.

Gabriel sat up straighter and cleared his throat. It was an instinctual thing to do, he didn’t even think about it as he did.

“I...I...looking at you like...like what?” Anybody could have heard the nervousness in his voice.

“You just had, a ‘look’.” She smiled and looked down, then back up, and kindly tucked her hair behind her ear,

“So, how are you feeling?”

Gabriel wiped sweat from his brow, “My shoulder? Is it okay?”

The nurse laughed again.

“Your shoulder is fine, I’m just asking how you’re feeling. That is my job you know.”

Gabriel tried to laugh, but he was too nervous.

“Yeah, it is.”

There was another pause.

“So you just need to take it easy for a few days, other than that...keep the bandage on until tonight. It’s really no big deal, just a graze. You’re lucky it wasn’t worse. ”

“Hah. Gabriel Jacks and lucky in the same sentence. As if that exists.”

“What time is it?” Gabriel interrupted her as if he wasn't listening, even though he was. Very intently actually. He couldn’t help but listen to her.

“It’s 11 am. You got shot last night.” “Oh. Ok.”

“Make sure to rest, take it easy, don’t strain your shoulder. The wound wasn’t bad, there was just a lot of bleeding. Mainly because of how fast your heart rate was already. Rest. That’s really the most important thing. Got it?”

Gabriel was sort of jolted back into reality when she finished talking.

“Yeah, got it.”

“Great. The doctor should be in shortly to talk and discharge you. Your clothes are right here.” She handed him a bag with the clothes that he had been wearing.

“Thanks. See you around.” He started to get out of the bed slowly.

“Yeah. See you around.” She smiled and walked out. Gabriel couldn’t help but notice her round butt. It somehow made a bubble shape even through her nurse’s gown.

Gabriel started to undress, to put on his actual clothes. Almost the same second he dropped his gown and stood naked next to the bed the nurse poked her head back into the room.

“Oh, god!” She covered her eyes, “I’m sorry...”

“No it’s fine I...”

“I’ll go. Oh sorry!” Gabriel quickly pulled the gown back on.

“It’s fine. It’s on again. It’s back on.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. She looked embarrassed.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to tell you my name. I’m Sarah Jacobson.”

“Hi, Sarah.” Gabriel smiled his big chubby-faced smile.

“It was nice taking care of you, Gabriel, even if it only lasted for a short time.”

“Well usually I don’t last for a short time so…” His eyes went wide when he realized what he said.

“Wtf Gabriel why did you say that. That was so creepy.” He screamed at himself.

“I’m...” He was about to correct himself, try to make a terrible situation into just a bad one. He knew she was going to storm out of the room after she made a remark about him being a “creepo” or a “jerk” or even a “pervert.”

“It’s fine. Really. I’ll see you around, Gabriel. Maybe”

She gave him a cute grin. He saw it as a sexy grin.

“See ya, Sarah.” He said as she walked out the door. Once she was gone, he waited a minute just staring at the door, making sure nobody was going to walk in. Then he started to get undressed again. He put his clothes on and sat down on the bed to wait for the doctor.

The next hour of his life was spent answering questions that reporters threw at him. They wanted to know what happened with the police. What happened with the gunshot. Whose fault it was. Was he already in contact with the police. Everything. From beginning to end. The reporters were like hounds. After they left, the doctor came in. They had a short conversation about the graze, then he discharged Gabriel.

He was exhausted, and his body hurt. Especially his shoulder.

He just wanted a break. For nearly an entire 24 hours he’d been in and out of sleep. His day had been hectic, and calling it that was maybe even an understatement. Every second piled on another problem, another complication.

Every time something seemed like it was about to start going right, a rug was pulled out from under his feet and his entire day would  go tumbling down all over again. He couldn’t catch a break. And things weren’t going to get better for him. Not anytime soon, at least.

A day had passed since being shot in the arm. Gabriel was lying on his couch and listening to Eddie ramble on about...he wasn’t even sure what.

His shoulder was feeling significantly better, even after just a day. That was about the only good news.

He was still wearing the same clothes as the day he’d lost his phone. It blew his mind that that was only two days before. He felt gross but he couldn’t get himself to move. He was too tired, but he couldn’t sleep, not because of his shoulder, but because he was still thinking about his doctor’s appointment. It was in 2 days.

Saying he was anxious about it was an understatement. His mind was just circling what the outcome may be over and over again.

The outcome.

“Yeah and then she said to me, ‘You’re such a jerk!’ Not sure what that was about. You know?”

Eddie looked over at Gabriel, expecting an answer. But he got none. He stood up to walked over to Gabriel.

“Bud. You smell like you haven’t showered in days.”

“I haven’t.”

“Oh god. Go shower!”

“I can’t get up.”

“Yes you can.”

Eddie grabbed a mini water gun from the counter and started spraying Gabriel.

“What the fuck! Stop!”

“Get up!”

Gabriel tried to shield himself from the water but it was no use.

“Am I your dog? Stop that!”

“You smell like a dog!”

Gabriel stood up. “Fine. Fine. I’ll take a shower.” His shoulder ached along with the rest of him just from standing up.

6.

“When is my name going to be called? Holy shit.”

Two days had passed. Gabriel sat in the doctor’s waiting room. It was the big day. Would the scan come out positive, or negative. He prayed negative.

“Gabriel Jacks?” The nurse called out to the waiting room.

“Here we go.” He thought.

Gabriel stood up and followed the girl to a room in the back left corner of the office. And again, Gabriel sat and waited. In reality, he waited maybe ten minutes or so, but for a guy waiting to hear the results of something life or death, it felt like years. Finally, the doctor entered the room.

“Hello Gabriel. How are you?”

“I’ve been better, thank you.” They shook hands.

The doctor’s face went almost instantly dark.

“I’m going to be straight up, Gabriel. No sugar coating; nothing. Your scan came up positive. You have pancreatic cancer. Stage 4. It is, to say the least, very bad.”

Gabriels heart dropped. He’d always been a huge sports fan, and he remembered always watching his favorite player take a shot for the win. When they would miss, his heart would drop. He’d feel a sense of let down, as if he thought the shot would go in. When it didn’t, it felt like he’d been betrayed. He wasn’t even sure why. That’s just how he felt.

However compared to the feeling he had now, that was nothing. He felt as if a boulder had been dropped on his chest. Even though all signs pointed to the results coming back positive, he thought they would come out negative. He thought everything would be fine. Never, not for even a second, did he really believe he was going to have cancer. The idea was hard to comprehend

“Gabriel…”

He was shocked back into reality.

“Yes, yes.”

“Did you hear what I said. Do you understand what I said?”

“I...I heard you. I just don’t think I’ll ever understand.” Within the next 20 seconds Gabriel walked out of the doctor’s office. He got a voicemail from the hospital later that night. They talked  about the protocols that need to happen in the future for him...even if his future was looking very short. Gabriel slept little that night.

He woke up the next morning feeling like shit.

His ceiling had cracks in it and his room was cold. His first instinct was that Eddie had blasted the air, but one glance to his left and he knew the real culprit. His window was open, and a special visitor put some icing on the cake

Perched on his window sill, right at the breaking point in between the outside and inside, was a big, fat squirrel. Its small eyes looked right at Gabriel, as if it was taunting him.

“Fuck, I don’t have time for this right now.”

With the squirrel almost in his room, and the air freezing cold, Gabriel thought that his morning had gotten off to a terrible start. But maybe, compared to the news he’d gotten the day prior, a squirrel and cold air wasn’t too bad.

Gabriel knew he had to act smart. Any fast movements and the squirrel would go running. And there was a likely chance that the direction it would run would be into his room. A squirrel sitting in the windowsill is one thing. A squirrel running through his room, maybe even the house; that was a whole other problem.

Without thinking, Gabriel carefully moved the covers off of himself and slid his legs out from under. He eyed the squirrel thinking that if he failed to maintain eye contact, the squirrel may move. He stood up, rising from his bed as slowly as a roller-coaster going up to the top right before a drop. Like slow motion.

Gabriel started sliding his feet on his rug floors to try and “sneak up” on the squirrel. As if that was even possible. He didn’t want to scare it and risk it jumping into his room. He maintained eye contact. The squirrel looked at Gabriel more intently than Gabriel looked at it.

Finally, after what seemed like 15 years, Gabriel was just 12 inches from the squirrel. Close enough for the squirrel to karate kick Gabriel in this face. Gabriel reached out for the squirrel. Planning on pushing it back and out of the 3rd story window if he got close enough. Still the squirrel didn’t budge. It was as if it had a plan in mind, and it knew Gabriel wasn’t going to get him

Gabriel thought in the back of his mind that the squirrel could jump from the windowsill and onto his floor at any second. But that didn’t deter him from continuing his slow pursuit.

Just as Gabriel was going to lurch forward the last 5 inches, his door swung open and Eddie burst into the room.

“Good mornin,’ sunshine!” He sounded like a trombone.

As if it was waiting for that moment all along, the squirrel jumped off the edge and right onto the floor. It went scurrying through Gabriel’s legs, under the bed, out from the other side, up onto his desk, and up on his shelf. It stopped, and looked at Eddie and Gabriel. It’s small eyes were studying them.

“Holy crap! That’s a squirrel!”

“No shit dumbass!” They whipped their heads back to the squirrel. It quickly jumped off the shelf and onto Gabriel bed.

“Now I have to wash my sheets.” Gabriel complained in his head. The squirrel ran to the edge of the bed and leaped. It was no ordinary leap. It was no, kid on the high school long jump leap. It was a leap of record-breaking lengths. The squirrel went flying, watched by the mesmerized eyes and open mouths of both Gabriel and Eddie. It flew through the air as elegantly as a swan. However, as great of a jump as it was, it wasn’t quite good enough to make it to the window. The squirrel fell just short and slammed into the wall just under the open window. With a thud, the limp body plopped onto the floor and laid motionless. Gabriel looked at Eddie, “Do I have to touch it?” Eddie just shrugged his shoulders, but they both knew the answer to that.

Twenty minutes later, in the kitchen, Eddie and Gabriel were having a conversation.

“How did the doctor go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Eddie was munching on some dry cereal from the box. As proper of a guy as he was in general, every so often he became a complete slob. That was better than Gabriel at least, who was a slob all the time.

“Well I saw a missed call and a message from the hospital. I didn’t listen to it, you’re welcome, but I think you should take a listen. I figure it’s important.”

“Stop talking like you know more than me.” Gabriel said this, though he knew Eddie was right.

“ I gotta go. Check the message Gabriel.” He looked up at him with sad baby eyes. “Don’t make me tell you again.” He started laughing.

“Oh shut up, get out of here.” Gabriel didn’t want to laugh, but he couldn’t help it. He threw a chip at him, but instantly realized he was going to have to pick it up and figured that throwing it was a dumb idea. Eddie waved goodbye and left the apartment.

Gabriel looked at the home phone. It had a red blinking light on it. The message from the hospital was still waiting to be heard.

“I bet Eddie lied. I bet he already listened to it and he knows I’m gonna fuckin die.”

Gabriel got up and went to the phone. He was adult, had been for a long time, but something in him still felt young. He still vividly remembered the times in high school when he’d get bullied for his size. He’d always been overweight, practically from the second he entered the world.

He stood in front of the phone. The red light flashing in his eyes like the lights from the police car a few nights before.

“How did my life end up like this?”

He thought about his life. It hadn’t really changed much. He felt as if every day was stuck on repeat. The flashing light meant something different, a bad different, but nonetheless different.

What the message on the phone would tell him would probably be no new information, but he was still scared. Finally, after standing in front of it for so long Gabriel got a rush of courage and lurched his hand forward. He pressed a button on the home phone, and the message began to play.

First he heard a quick tune on the phone, then the voicemail started.

“Hello, this is Dr. Davidson. I’m calling the Jacks’ residence for a follow up on Gabriel Jacks’ appointment earlier today. There is no need to have Gabriel come back in. We’ve got all the information we need. Unfortunately in cases like these, what that means is there is no real treatment. This is terminal, and with a Stage 4 cancer like this one, pancreatic cancer, there is really no treatment. You do have a couple of options though. Option one would be to do surgery. That has a chance of extending your life expectancy, but at this point, the cancer has spread to multiple organs. Surgery would not do much. Option two would be Palliative care. We can try our best to make the process of death go as smoothly as possible. It is up to you what we do from here. Please let us know as soon as possible.

I am truly sorry for this happening. We here at the hospital really understand how hard this is. If any counseling, or something of that sort is needed, please come in to the hospital immediately. We have programs that can help. Any questions, feel free to call, we have people working at all times of the day and night.

I am sorry for what has happened. You know where to find the hospital for any of your needs. Again, I am Dr. Davidson. Good bye.”

The phone resorted to a low buzzing tone when the message was finished. Then the automated voice from the phone spoke. “No new messages.”

Gabriel’s heart was broken...and his stomach hurt.

“Surgery my ass. No way. And Palliative care? I don’t need anybody to take care of me. I’m fine on my own.”

He grabbed a jacket, and practically ran out of the house.

7.

Gabriel went to the nearest bar and started to drink. He knew it was a terrible idea, but what did he care?

“I don’t give a shit.” Is what he told himself. “I’m dyin’ anyways, I might as well go out drunk and having fun.”

Gabriel went to the nearest bar and started to drink. He knew it was a terrible idea, but what did he care?

“I don’t give a shit.” Is what he told himself. “I’m dyin’ anyways, I might as well go out drunk and having fun.”

The bar was just a few blocks from his house, so it didn’t take him long to get there. It was a quiet bar, with few people. Besides a couple sitting in a booth eating dinner, and two men in suits having what looked to be a very important business meeting, the bar was empty.

Gabriel had opted to sit at the bar. He figured he would get his drinks fastest that way. The T.V. was on, and some random basketball game was playing. Gabriel couldn’t care less about sports, but the couple in the booth seemed to be enjoying it. Gabriel figured that’s why the bar left it on.

The place had an old vibe to it. It was quiet, with a few nicely assorted spots of blue and purple lights mixed in. Gabriel noticed it was cold, and he wished that it was warmer. He saw the thermostat just a few paces away, but he hadn’t drank that much, and he knew better than to touch it.

“Let me get another drink.” He said in a sluggish voice. The bartender stopped washing the dishes and turned around to face Gabriel. He had a slight smirk on his face. Not a creepy smirk, but more of a, this-is-going-to-turn-outbad kind of smirk.

“What can I get for you?”

Seemingly out of nowhere Gabriel burst out in a laughter fit.

“Hah! What can I get for you...what can I get for you? Hahaha!”

“Is there a problem?”

Gabriel was able to get a hold of his slightly drunken mind, he controlled himself and answered the man. It hit him how terrible of a drinker he was.

“I, I don’t know any drinks. Just get me something you think is good for a dying man.” The bartender gave him a funny look, but he didn’t quite catch on to the “dying man” stuff. Then the bartender turned back around to face his wall of alcohol, his procedure had begun. About a minute later, the bartender placed a cup in front of Gabriel.

“Here, this will make you feel a little better.”

Gabriel didn’t even look at the man. He grabbed the drink, and started to chug down an entire glass of hard liquor. The bartender gave an astonished look.

“Hey what’s your name, big guy?”

“Wow a human trying to be intimate with me.” Gabriel thought. “How odd.”

Gabriel finished the drink and took a deep breath, then answered the man

“The names Mr. Gabriel Jacks. But you can call me Gabriel.”

“Hello, Gabriel, I’m André, nice to meet you.”

“You too man!” Gabriel's voice got louder out of nowhere. André’s eyes lit up from surprise, his practically orange eyes look mesmerizing. Gabriel thought for a moment that André must have gotten all the girls back in high school.

“Get me another one!”

“One more it is.”

Again, André brought Gabriel a glass of something. It was a clear drink and had ice in it. It tasted like shit, Gabriel thought, but it was making him feel good with every sip he took. So he kept on drinking. Each time Gabriel took a sip he winced and shook his head. His body felt like jello, as if he could just collapse and pour out of the stool he was sitting on.

“One more!” His words were becoming jumbled and it was hard to understand him.

“One more it is.” André brought out yet another drink, and another a few minutes later. Gabriel began to sway on his stool practically involuntarily. His brain was not controlling his body-the alcohol was.

“Are you alright?” André asked, he didn’t want anyone falling and dying at his bar.

“Me? I’m doing great!” He yelled everything he said. Gabriel felt like André was miles away and thought the only way for him to hear him talking was to yell.

“I think it’s time for you to head on home, Mr. Jacks.”

“I said call me ‘Gabriel!’” André gave an understanding smile, his perfectly tan skin was practically glistening.

“I think it’s time for you to go home, Gabriel.”

“I’m not goin’ anywhere! I came here to die!”

André froze for a second. “Did this man really want to die here?” He thought, and realized that the situation he was dealing with may have been more serious than he’d thought. He wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“You’re kidding. Right?”

“No sir, dead serious. I’m gonna die, and this is the best way to go out.”

“What does he mean? He’s gonna die? Is he serious?” André thought. “What do you mean, why are you gonna die.”

“Well that’d be the stomach cancer. Cancer’s a bitch. I’ve got that thing stage 4. Doctor says it’s terminal.”

André’s heart sank. He answered his own question. Yes. This was a serious situation.

“I’m, I’m sorry to hear that.” He looked down.

“Don’t be sorry!’ André looked back up to Gabriel. “Just let me drink myself to death!” Gabriel screamed, “Don’t be sorry…” Gabriel broke out into tears seemingly out of nowhere. He covered his face with his hands, and slammed his head down on the counter. He began to cry harder.

André looked around his bar, only one group of people remained. He yelled to them.

“Hey sorry but we are closing, if you could please make your way out now. Thank you!”

The people gave him disgusted looks, as if saying, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Please make your way out of the bar!” André repeated himself very sternly. That time, the people that remained began to slowly get up and leave. Meanwhile Gabriel was still crying. Once everyone had left the bar, and it was only Gabriel and André left, André began to speak.

“Gabriel, I’m taking you on a night out. If you’re dying, you’re gonna die having fun. Not sitting in my bar, sad and alone while drinking yourself to death. No way. So come on, grab your jacket and let’s get out of here.”

Gabriel was far too drunk to put up a fight. At that point Gabriel would have eaten his own toe if someone told him it was for a good cause. They left the bar, Gabriel stumbling with each step. He had no idea where André was taking him, though André seemed very confident that where they were heading was somewhere good.

8.

André was driving fast. Very fast. Usually, Gabriel’s paranoid instincts would kick in and he’d start to freak out that they would get into an accident, but all Gabriel could think in that moment was how cool the moon’s reflection looked on the ocean. The dark ocean was seemingly endless, and the glimmer from the moon reminded Gabriel that what he was looking at was real, not just a dark abyss of nothing.

“Where we goin’?” Gabriel asked.

“We are going to a real bar.” André was smirking.

“Fuck yeah we are!”

As if someone flipped a switch, tears began to pour out of Gabriel’s eyes. He only gave a little a whimper, but it was loud enough for André to notice. He looked at Gabriel, not sure what to do. He couldn’t lean over and comfort the guy while he drove. So he awkwardly looked over at him quickly.

“Gabriel...Gabriel. Are you okay?”

“I’m a fuckin dead man in a person’s body!” He let out a hysterical laugh.

“Gabriel listen, are you okay? Do I need to pull over?” André was trying to focus on the road ahead of him all while trying to listen, speak, and look Gabriel.

“I’m fine.” He calmed down.

“Are you sure, you don’t seem...”

“I’m fine. Seriously I am.”

André hesitated, he was going to say something, but he didn’t.

“It’s just that I don’t know what to do.” Gabriel continued despite having said he was fine. “I’m dying. In just a short matter of time I’m going to be dead. I’m going to cease to exist and I don’t know what to do. What am I supposed to do? Sit around on my ass and wait till I die? Will I even know when I’m dying? I don’t know what death feels like. Do I go out and try to have as much fun as possible. Well it seems that’s what I’m doing isn’t it?” Gabriel was breathing hard, for him just speaking a lot made him out of breath.

“That’s exactly what you should do! Livin’ like you’re dyin’! That’s the dream man! Go skydiving! Go clubbing, which is what we are doing! Go swim with fucking sharks! Or even just go for a run on the beach, enjoy the scenery, and the smell of the ocean!” André paused, “I don’t know. Live like you’re dyin’ man. Seems great to me.”

“I guess.” Gabriel looked down into his lap. He quickly forgot how nice the ocean looked.

“Cheer up. We’re almost there.” André was smiling again, and it was contagious. Gabriel couldn’t help but crack a small grin.

Finally, after about a twenty minute car ride they arrived. “The Atlantic Party Place” or as the locals called it, “The APP”. It had a reputation of being a place where people met, a place where people partied, and a place where people got hardcore drunk. Seemed like the perfect place for a guy in Gabriel’s situation.

Gabriel was too drunk to read the sign, or maybe he was finally accepting that it was okay to have fun, but usually Gabriel would never go to a place like The APP. It just wasn’t who he was. Not a fun guy. Just boring ol’ Gabriel Jacks. Or “fatty,” as his high school bullies would call him.

“We’re here, come on.” André parked in a metered spot right outside of the place. They got out of his car, which was nice for a bartender, and they walked to the front entrance. The bouncer didn’t ask for I.D. but the monster of a man gave Gabriel a “You don’t look like you’re supposed to be here.” look.

That’s what Gabriel thought at least. His stomach felt sick, and he realized he was out of place. His mind started to race.

“I’m not supposed to be here. I’m Gabriel Jacks, the fatty, not the cool party guy. I need to go. I can’t stay here.”

“I’ve gotta get out of here.” Just before he and André entered into the actual “club” part of the club, Gabriel stopped. Andre turned to him.

“What? Come on, this place is alive!” André started grooving in place. Gabriel thought about his next decision. Stay or leave. He was about to turn  and leave, forget about everything that happened, but André spoke before he could do anything.

“Come I’ll get us some drinks and you’ll be fine.” He grabbed Gabriel’s arm and pulled him into the flashing lights and loud music. They pushed through a crowd of people and made it to the bar. They sat down, and André began to speak to the bartender. André and the bartender seemed to know each other, Gabriel thought, because the two of them were smiling and laughing as they spoke. Just seconds later, six shot glasses were in front of them.

“You ready?” André looked at Gabriel with crazy-person eyes. Gabriel thought for a second, but his decision had been made.

“What have I got to lose?” He thought before he grabbed a shot glass. One by one they went. One for Gabriel, one for André. A second for Gabriel, a second for André. A third for Gabriel, and then, before André could grab his last shot, Gabriel stole it away and drank it himself.

“Goddamn boy! You’re goin’ crazy toniiiiight!” André yelled, the group of girls next to them heard him yelling. And, in typical drunk girl fashion, they added a “Wooooo!”

“Hello ladies.” André said. “Let me buy you girls some drinks. Senor! Some shots for these fine ladies please! Same as us!” He turned to Gabriel and winked.

“So how old are you girls?” André asked.

Gabriel felt like he was dreaming. His mind was spinning and nothing around him felt real. The colored lights flashing looked like skittles flying through the air, or so he thought. He had a mesmerized smile on his face. People were on the dance floor, and to Gabriel they looked like wild animals, bouncing, with their hands in the air. Through the crowd of people in front of him, Gabriel saw her. The nurse. Sarah. Gabriel had the same rush flow through his veins when he saw her then as he did at the hospital. At the hospital he thought it was just the drugs they had given him for the pain, but he realized that wasn’t the case. He couldn’t stop staring at her.

“Girls, this is my friend Gabriel. He…” André looked over to Gabriel while introducing him, but Gabriel was nowhere to be found. André just barely caught a glimpse of him running through the crowd of drunken idiots, seemingly towards nowhere.

Gabriel shoved his way through the sweaty bodies, other people’s sweat smearing and mixing with his own. He began to wobble on his feet and the alcohol in his stomach sloshed around. He rammed into other people’s bodies multiple times. He saw her, he was getting closer. Her skin glowed, and her eyes looked as blue as ever. He made it to her, but when he looked into her eyes, they were black. She looked at him, and the room turned dark. Everyone disappeared but her. She stared at him, her eyes seemed to lock him in place. She began speaking.

“Go home Gabriel. This isn’t the place for you.” Her voice had a satanic tone and Gabriel wanted to run, but he couldn’t. His feet felt attached to the ground.

“This is a dream; I’m dreaming this. It’s just the alcohol. I’m gonna wake up in my bed in three...”

“Go home Gabriel.” She continued. “Go home, go home, go home!”

She screamed in his face. Gabriel felt like he was going to pass out. He started to cry. “Sarah stop!” He yelled back.

“Two…”

“Go home! Go home! Go home! Go hoooooooooome!”

Everything jumped to darkness.

Sarah had been awkwardly bouncing up and down on the dance floor when Gabriel practically fell onto her.

“Sarahhhhhh. How-are-youuu…”

His words were mumbled and he sounded like a baby who’d just learned to speak.

“Gabriel, I didn’t expect to see you here. I never have before.”

“Well you knoooooow.” He swayed back and forth.

“Are you okay, you don’t seem like you are.”

“I...I’m...I’m…”

From behind Gabriel, André came running up.

“Gabriel!”

Before either Gabriel or Sarah could react to André, Gabriel collapsed to the floor.

He woke up in a daze on the floor of the club, faces hovering over him. Amongst them were André...and the nurse, Sarah. Her blue eyes looked at him, she looked scared.

“Gabriel, speak to me, bud.” André spoke to him. His posse of newly acquired girls were behind him, looking worried.

“Sarah…” Gabriel ignored André and spoke softly, a smile just barely creased his lips. Then, everything slowly fell to darkness.

9.

Gabriel woke up to the overwhelming white of a hospital room, again. His head felt like it was spinning.

“Again? Seriously, again?”

Sarah walked in.  She had a smirk on her face. Her head was tilted slightly down, and her eyes were looking up at him in a cute, not creepy way. She started to laugh. Not the bellowing laugh of a monster, but the cute and crisp giggle of an angel.

“What are you laughing at?” Gabriel said this with a slight chuckle, but the slightest movement of his head made him feel like he was going to throw up, so he cut that out instantly.

“I’m...I’m laughing at you idiot.” Usually Gabriel would have been offended by, or embarrassed by a girl calling him an idiot, but with Sarah it was different. He felt happiness course through his veins. That’s what he thought it was at least.

“Or maybe it’s drugs from the I.V.?” He thought.

“You can’t catch a break, can you? Black out drunk at a club, shot in the shoulder by a police officer, and…” There was an awkward silence and she looked down instead of looking at him.

“Shit, she knows about the cancer.”

“Yeah. I may be the unluckiest man alive.”

“You sir, may very well be.”

She looked like she was going to continue, but didn’t. So Gabriel spoke.

“Were you at the…” He spoke hesitantly, and she finished his sentence.

“At the club last night? Yeah, I was. I followed the ambulance here and stayed to check up on you once you woke up.”

The thought of her going out of her way to help him made Gabriel feel like he’d just won the lottery.

“How...how nice of you.” He smiled, clearly embarrassed.

“So how’d it feel to pass out like that?”

“She’s making small talk...she’s making small talk...she’s making small talk!” Gabriel was more than just excited.

“It, was scary. To say the least.” Gabriel tried not to laugh or show his excitement. One because he didn’t want her to see how happy he was, but also he thought that if he moved his head he’d get dizzy and may accidentally fall off the bed.

She laughed for him, “Interesting. So there isn’t much for me to tell you, doctor wise at least.”

Gabriel loved her attitude. Awkward, yet somehow totally in control of the conversation at the same time.

“Funny how we ran into each other. Even if it was under bad circumstances, I’m glad we did.” She said.

“I took your ‘see you around’ comment before too literally.” He laughed and it made his head spin.

“Well maybe next time don’t drink yourself to death just to see me.” She winked at him and spun around to leave. Gabriel couldn’t help but admire her butt as she left. “See you around Gabriel!” .

He didn’t respond because he was too busy admiring her, but then he realized she said goodbye and he yelled a response to her.

“And next time not in a hospital!” She didn’t hear him, but Gabriel chuckled at his own joke anyway.

He looked at himself, rather he looked at his situation.

“What the fuck happened last night.” He got up and minutes later left the room. He barely had any memory of what had happened the night before. All he knew was that he was at a club, that he saw Sarah, and that he blacked out.

10.

Gabriel was sitting on his couch watching T.V. It had been a day since his incident at the club, so he felt a lot better. He was eating Cheetos. On the T.V. some show was playing. Gabriel didn’t know what, he wasn’t watching it for enjoyment, he was watching it so Eddie-who was in the other room-would think he was watching something and wouldn’t bother him. On the screen, two of the characters were froliking on the beach. It cut to them laying and relaxing in the sand.

“Frankie, isn’t the beach just the best?” One character said to the other. Then, suddenly, like a computer was turned on in his brain, he remembered something. He remembered André, but more specifically he remembered something he’d told Gabriel:

“Or even just go for a run on the beach, enjoy the scenery, and the smell of the ocean!”

“Go for a run on the beach…” Gabriel whispered to himself.

“I’ve gotta’ go for a run on the beach.”

He quickly jumped up to put on “workout attire.” For Gabriel it was just a pair of shorts and t-shirt. He grabbed his Star Wars shirt, slipped it over his big body, then ran out the door. He thought to himself as he left his apartment room.

“What happened to André anyway?” He shrugged and moved on. Ten minutes later he was standing on the beach, ready for his run. He stood at the edge of the sand and watched a seagull fly over the ocean.

It looked so thin. So different from himself. The sun felt perfectly warm and he knew that his pale skin would be burnt like a burger at a blind man’s barbecue by the time he was done running, even if that run was going to last for just minutes. Gabriel knew that he wasn’t going to be able to keep up a run for very long-especially in the sand. He took a deep breath, trying to take in as much pure sea air, and as much warm sun, as possible. He jumped onto the sand and never looked back. He began his run, on the hot sand.

He felt like a lion running through its kingdom. Though he probably looked like a pig running on a beach. He felt like he could do anything, like he could run forever. Though he would probably feel like dying the second the adrenaline from the hot sun, the fresh air, and the run wore off.

His big belly slammed up and down with each stride he took. He thought about his past week. Everything from the scan at the hospital and chasing the Uber who stole his phone, to getting caught up in a drug deal and getting shot. He thought about his night of nearly drinking himself to death. He thought of Andre.

He no longer wanted to commit suicide. He barely even thought about the cancer that was quickly killing all the cells in his body. He no longer cared about death. He no longer cared about anything but this moment.

His daydream was cut short when he noticed a person jogging on the beach just a few hundred feet ahead of him, heading in his direction. He knew instantly who it was: Sarah.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Gabriel looked at himself and saw how disgusting he looked. His light colored shirt had turned dark from sweat, and he could tell that his hair was completely screwed up. He didn’t have much time to think. She noticed him and turned her running trajectory towards him.

“Gabriel?” They were standing face to face. “Did we seriously run into each other again?”

“I told you I’d see later didn’t I?” She instantly burst into her cute laugh. She managed to look beautiful even when covered in sweat from a run on the beach

“Yes. Yes! She’s laughing. That was a good joke.” He felt encouraged. “But seriously. What are the odds of this?” He shrugged his shoulders as a response. “Are you stalking me Mr. Gabriel Jacks?” She said teasing him. He laughed.

“I’m glad we ran into each other though.” Gabriel said.

“I am too.”

He looked into her eyes. Blue, not black. He wasn’t dreaming. It was real life.

Gabriel knew what he wanted to do. He knew he wanted to ask her a question. But he couldn’t. He’d never done anything like it before.

He turned to his left to look at the ocean. His eyes widened when he saw André standing in the ocean waist deep waving at him. He suddenly heard André’s voice in his head.

“Do it Gabriel; you can do this.”

Gabriel wanted to respond, he wanted to thank André, but before he could do anything a big wave crashed on André. He never arose from the water.

For maybe the first time in his life, Gabriel felt a hint of courage. He turned to Sarah, and asked her a question. It was one of the most used questions in the world, and so simple, but to Gabriel it was the scariest thing he’d done in his entire, pathetic life.

“Sarah, do you want to go on a date with me?”

Sarah took a breath and didn’t speak. The silence felt like an eternity. Had he really asked her, or did he imagine it? He didn’t know. Her long pause was making him think that maybe he hadn’t asked the question at all. He thought maybe they’d been standing there awkwardly staring at each other ever since she said ‘I am too.’ He began to panic and almost said something else, but…

“Yes. Yes, I want to go on a date with you.”

Everything Gabriel had ever thought didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that Sarah said yes.

She said yes.

vGabriel couldn’t believe it. Cancer, death, Eddie, Andre, nothing and nobody mattered.

She said yes, and her eyes were blue, not black.

He was snapped back into reality, “Gabriel...Gabriel, are you okay?”

“Yeah, actually now I’m okay. Now I’m okay.” He smiled, and nodded his head slowly. For the first time in a long time, Gabriel felt that everything was perfectly at peace.